Five Years or More

What will you have done over the next five years?
Will you have written that piece that you've been dreaming of?
Will you have created that melody that your heart has been pining for?
Will it be everything that you ever wanted it to be?
I hope so... I hope so

Out of my blues

Well I just got done workin
Another long sleepless night
I was married to the job
And it didn't feel right

It was a shotgun wedding
And I slept in my shoes
When an angel appeared
Out of my wollowing blues

So I got a new job
Pays me three dollars more
Where I feel like a man
Not a slave on the floor

When I come home at night
My angel's there at the door
With a smile on her face
I can't help but adore

Now I lay down to sleep
My shoes off by the bed
Anxious to dream 
'bout the times that we've had

And I send out my thanks
To the powers that be
For sending this angel
Over to me

untitled

And in the moment that I felt most defeated,
I realized that I may never see her again. It
was then that I finally saw that the door wouldn't
open for me, but instead had to be broken down.
Come! I cried. Charge with me so that we may
move together. Maybe the next room won't be
any better, but at least we will endure it in
good company, rather than sitting here hoping
for life to come to us.

Two Days at a Time (w/ music)

Here is a quick 5am recording of where this song is going. There are parts that are off. The Em is sometimes dressed up as a (Em E7sus4 E7 E7sus2 E7) progression. I have it in there a few too many times and in places it shouldn't be. But that's the basic jist of it


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[Starts as slow solo]
B7 - Em7

C - D - Em
C - D - Em
C - D - Em
C - D - Cmaj7

C------------D-----Em
She came by just to see me
C-------D ----------C
and ask me how i've been.
C -------D---------Em
I took a look in the mirror
C--------D--------Cmaj7
flashed a defeated grin

Em -----D -------C
Another monday morning
C-------D-------Em
another lifetime gone
Em----------D-----C
Weekdays go by so slowly
C ---------D-------Cmaj7
living two days at a time

C - D - Em
C - D - Em
C - D - Em
C - D - Cmaj7

C ----D--------Em
I sat alone on a park bench
C ----------D ---------C
hoping that she would arrive
C -----------D ------------- Em
I dreamed I could smell her perfume
C ----------D ---------Cmaj7
she was nowhere to be found

Em------D-------C
Another monday morning
C-------D--------Em
another weekend gone
Em ----D --------C
my life evolves so slowly
C --------D --------Cmaj7
living two days at a time

C - D - Em
C - D - Em
C - D - Em
C - D - Cmaj7

-- The mp3 stops here --

C --------D ----------Em
I couldn't stand to be bothered
C --------D ---------C
by all my duties and chores
C ------------D -----Em
the week has finally ended
C -------------D --------Cmaj7
comes time to look at the stars


C ----------D ------Em
maybe this time I'll find her
C ----------D -------------C
think of the right things to say
C --------------D --------Em
we have to two days to be happy
C ----------D --------Cmaj7
two days to get her to stay

Em -----D -------C
Another monday morning
C -------D -------Em
another vacation done
Em --------D ---------C
I hope that she doesn't mind
C --------D --------Cmaj7
living two days at a time.

C - D - Em
C - D - Em
C - D - Em
C - D - Cmaj7

Reunion

I was about to go to bed when she finally knocked on my door. Resting her bicycle against the bricks of the house, I invited her in for some warm tea. She held it closely with both hands, watching the steam rise, putting it down only once her finger tips began to burn. We sat in silence, reading each other's faces, nodding and smiling. Soon the tea had cooled enough to allow her to sip it loudly, giggling after each slurp. I let out a deep sigh, attempting to form a sentence. Nothing came to mind. All I could do is look at her and remember the times we've shared. She hasn't changed a bit. Her hair still wrapped in a bandanna, and the moment she walked into the house, I could smell... vanilla. The tea was gone, and I could see her trying to get comfortable and warm. I nodded in the direction of the stairs and she flashed me a defeated grin, letting me walk her to my room. As soon as I laid down next to her, she scooted over and rested her head on my chest. By the time I pulled the blanket over her, she was asleep. Still speechless, I picked up my phone with my free hand and began to type. "I was about to go to bed when she finally knocked..."

Two days at a time

She came by just to see me
and ask me how i've been.
I took a look in the mirror
flashed a defeated grin

Another monday morning
another lifetime gone
Weekdays go by so slowly
living two days at a time

I sat alone on a park bench
hoping that she would arrive
I dreamed I could smell her perfume
she was nowhere to be found

Another monday morning
another weekend gone
my life evolves so slowly
living two days at a time

I couldn't stand to be bothered
by all my duties and chores
the week has finally ended
comes time to look at the stars

maybe this time I'll find her
think of the right things to say
we have to two days to be happy
two days to get her to stay

Another monday morning
another vacation done
I hope that she doesn't mind
living two days at a time.

My Year Alone

While everyone else slept, I lived.

Letting my mind wonder, trying to
create, trying to invent, trying to
understand what life is all about.

I reminisced of old friends and
past loves. The mistakes I have
made, the people I've hurt and
on occasions I would toast the
small successes of life.

On occasion, I would venture
out around town, snapping pictures
where I could watch the world
sleep. Breathing the cold air,
exhaling the warm vapors,
making up stories of fictional
characters, that like me, stayed
up all night.

It was a different life, one in which
I was able to be whoever I chose.
Had no bothers of judgments
or feeling uninvited. Always looking
forward to what could be, sometimes
forgetting about the things that were.

And now here I am, at least an extra
year of thoughts, experiences and
day dreams. It's the only time I
have to myself. The time I have
without worries about responsibilities.

But eventually everyone else catches
up with you. And time comes to return
to reality. One with "have to"s and
"should"s, one without the perfect
person to say just the right thing.
Without people who know just how to
cheer you up.

Hopefully as I grow old, I'll have a few
more of these years.

A year and eight days ago I sat with my graduating class. All dressed up in caps and gowns, ready to enter the world. I was tickled by the coincidental timing. The day I was born was to be the day I was set free to live my own life. It was ever so slightly intimidating, scary and ... unknown.

And there we sat, listening to a friend solo on his sax to the national anthem. We all heard the bad note he was making up for, but it didn't matter. The one sour note only reminded me of our rehearsal. It was nothing like what I expected a rehearsal to be. Instead of parading us around the gymnasium, we sat and listened to one of the wisest statements I've ever heard.

"This is your day. Who cares if you trip, or stumble on stage. Have fun and be proud of yourselves."

Now here I am. A year older and hopefully a year wiser. Sadly, it wasn't until eight days ago that I realized the value of those words spoken. Amidst trying to build my career, get a house and hopefully one day meeting someone truly special, each day from that day has been mine. I will trip and I will stumble on stage. I will hear many sour notes, but with them will come great improvisations that will sing "I made a mistake but I'm living life to the fullest!"

I will try not to forget that, and I hope no one else does either.

Happy one year anniversary MTU class of 2008!

Searching

The one who walked passed
at the store
looking for the cosmetics.

Perhaps it's the girl
at the gas station counter.
The one who walked to work
in the freezing weather.

Or even the bartender,
while already busy with her chores.
Maybe she will ask.

Are you okay?

And maybe with her
I will feel
confident enough
to say

No.

---------------------------------------------
Another oldy. That one's back from January.
A little gloomy but it's better than not posting right?

Bad Dream

I had a bad dream
The other night
my baby was crying
I didn't know how to make things right.
When I tried to hold her
she pushed me away
and anything I mentioned
was the wrong thing to say

Don't leave me honey
it was only a bad dream
don't leave me baby
it's not as bad as you make it seem

I woke up in the morning
and her bedside was cold
she had left in July
that was all I was told
had no reason without her
to go on with my day
so I reached for the whiskey
and drank the bad dream away

Don't leave me honey
it was only a bad dream
Don't leave me baby
it's not as bad as you make it seem.

----------------------------------------------
An old bit I wrote in December. It was an attempt to
get some words to try to practice some blues scales to.
Never really got anything down musically, and I
can't sing when I play :)

Now let's see if I can dig anything else up

The Things I Fear

Looking too rich or looking too poor
Not finding someone who I can adore
Stereotypes and associations
Losing myself through generalizations
Having to choose who's really a friend
Or if for me, will they take a stand
Talking too much or being too shy
Percieved agreement that's really a lie
Being forgotten or being dismissed
Leaving for months and not being missed
Taken for granted or being smothered
You're laughing now but really are bothered
Being too pushy or pushing away
Not knowing what is the right thing to say
Having no secrets or closing my book
Letting myself take too close a look
If I dare search, the things I will see
I'm terrified that you might be like me

Posted with LifeCast

Square Shots

Gail, bottle in hand and two square shots. Vodka, her choice even though she hates it. Truthfully, I cringe at the thought myself. Before long, the lights were out and the movie started. We watched from the comfort of a warm blanket, eying the fire water taunting use and no chaser to boot. She poured the round and psyched herself before the first drink, much like she did for the fifth. I breathed out the fumes and as the juice began to talk hold, I thought about the day ahead, welcoming the expected disorientation who's only cure being plentiful sleep and laziness. She fell asleep first, in my lap on the couch. The movie ended by then leaving only soft music looping as I stared at the empty squares reflecting the bright television. My body was in waves, urging me to join Gail in sleep. The night ended there and in the morning we would move to a big bed where we could better laugh at our aches and nausea.

Picture Perfect

another poem by
another poet
with another metaphor

it does nothing for me

so i flip to the next page
while on the toilet
my cat attempting
to crawl into my pants
hanging at my ankles

yet another poem
by another poet

suddenly i feel
as though i'm looking
at pictures
asking
myself
why is this worth writing

i don't know you enough
to see your beautiful
landscape and foxes

i don't know you enough
to care about noisy
train stations
or
four thousand year old

turtles

he's been boiled anyway

instead, invite me in and tell
what makes you tick
and spare me
the simile

show me
you

not your reconstructed
dream world
used to hide
insecurities

give me something to work from
to learn from
to think about without comparing
it to my

less beautiful

surroundings

show me
life

show me truth

not another poem

Originality

sitting at home
still
wondering how to
inspire my own self
still
tried of trying

nothing comes of continuing
to script
in a blank

a space where few
pass and where
my ideas
come to pass

done and done
once written and read over
once
nothing new anymore,
it's been done.

the thoughts have been had
by me
had by them
and by you
us

yet us don't speak
thoughts, we act
unknowingly
not knowing real
want
not knowing
happy, it's what
us wants.

I sit still
with nothing done
and not spoken
expecting the easy

so you take your stuff
and sell
your thoughts and eyes
the same thoughts
been done and sold
the same eyes across many

and me? i still sit
still half
done and half
seen since
once had by me
completely
then had by us

instead i half do
and hope to share
my only half
with a one not
many
so that one may have
my eyes
my thoughts

and the one eyes
see
and the one thoughts
not yet tired
can consider that their
scenes and
mind is gifted to them
not to all
half appreciated
half remembered
my half

Jeep Thing...

when she pulled up
in her jeep
i wanted to wave
and make
her company.
but alas i was
far removed from my
own, so i waited
until she got her drink
and started
walking back
at which point i jumped
into my
chariot and took
the alternate
exit
out of the lot
only
so that i may drive by
and show off my
doorless, topless,
manhood on wheels
and wave
a peace sign
of comradery.

she waved back,
at which
point i felt accomplished.

maybe next time
she'll park next to me
and maybe
she'll stick around
and drink her drink
at the table
next to mine, waiting for me to say
"hey, that's a nice jeep you've got there"

probably not
but it's fun to pretend.

Laughter

i ordered a coffee today
and following
my order came laughter.
i couldn't make out what was said
so i assumed
and made excuses
in my head
just
in case.

it's hot out,
i want to cool off
still laughing
maybe
at something else
but
maybe
at me

so in retort i move outside
and can't help
but to notice
myself
noticing women
cars
motorcycles
manly things

then i take another sip
and laugh
at the billions of things
that are
there to laugh at.
at me
caring
wasting time.

i finish my drink
and get bored
of wanting
something to happen
so i decide to
act
and get in my car
feeling
manly
picking music
and shoot like a bet out of hell
adrenalin driven
until i realize i have nowhere to go.

i feel silly again

Hunger Pains

today everyone is hungry
for truth
and all it takes is
some
overconfident fool to feed them.

politics is the dish
that keeps on feeding
where
the people
choose
off the menu and decide
which truth
tastes the best today.

Inspiration

i didn't want to read her
books, as i figured
if i did then
she won.
eh, i'll let her have this one
and flip
through a few pages
maybe
it'll let me get some
of my own.

ranting, that's all
under pseudo names
but was
his life that dramatic or did he take
artistic liberties?

hell, i could take liberties of my own
and steal the style
i can write
about my work
or the ticking clock

4:34
if i started now
no lunch
the day would end near noon.

i suspect stories
if not
made up
at least artificially provoked.
that's easy
thoughtless
inspiring.

Cookie

she is spot on with her reasoning.
the laptop died
because of a bad battery.
you have to move
your money around!
scooters are better
on gas.
her matter of fact banter tickled me
in the gut.
I partially wish for a cookie
so that I may walk
up proudly and put it on her plate.
good girl,
tell me more.

fortunately i wasn't her company
otherwise i might not
enjoy it
as much.
instead i may
forget it all
much like she probably does
a minute after
the words leave her mouth.
after all, there is no point
in remembering
what you say
when it's such simple banter.

uh, what's this?
a new voice just said something
an addition to her
story.
but alas
the facts were false
and off she goes correcting
yet again
in the same matter of fact
spot
on
way.

Times Change

There once was a time that made sense,
where things were lighthearted, not tense
But times have since changed
Simple now estranged
Making me to feel strangely dense.