The Things I Fear

Looking too rich or looking too poor
Not finding someone who I can adore
Stereotypes and associations
Losing myself through generalizations
Having to choose who's really a friend
Or if for me, will they take a stand
Talking too much or being too shy
Percieved agreement that's really a lie
Being forgotten or being dismissed
Leaving for months and not being missed
Taken for granted or being smothered
You're laughing now but really are bothered
Being too pushy or pushing away
Not knowing what is the right thing to say
Having no secrets or closing my book
Letting myself take too close a look
If I dare search, the things I will see
I'm terrified that you might be like me

Posted with LifeCast

Square Shots

Gail, bottle in hand and two square shots. Vodka, her choice even though she hates it. Truthfully, I cringe at the thought myself. Before long, the lights were out and the movie started. We watched from the comfort of a warm blanket, eying the fire water taunting use and no chaser to boot. She poured the round and psyched herself before the first drink, much like she did for the fifth. I breathed out the fumes and as the juice began to talk hold, I thought about the day ahead, welcoming the expected disorientation who's only cure being plentiful sleep and laziness. She fell asleep first, in my lap on the couch. The movie ended by then leaving only soft music looping as I stared at the empty squares reflecting the bright television. My body was in waves, urging me to join Gail in sleep. The night ended there and in the morning we would move to a big bed where we could better laugh at our aches and nausea.

Picture Perfect

another poem by
another poet
with another metaphor

it does nothing for me

so i flip to the next page
while on the toilet
my cat attempting
to crawl into my pants
hanging at my ankles

yet another poem
by another poet

suddenly i feel
as though i'm looking
at pictures
asking
myself
why is this worth writing

i don't know you enough
to see your beautiful
landscape and foxes

i don't know you enough
to care about noisy
train stations
or
four thousand year old

turtles

he's been boiled anyway

instead, invite me in and tell
what makes you tick
and spare me
the simile

show me
you

not your reconstructed
dream world
used to hide
insecurities

give me something to work from
to learn from
to think about without comparing
it to my

less beautiful

surroundings

show me
life

show me truth

not another poem

Originality

sitting at home
still
wondering how to
inspire my own self
still
tried of trying

nothing comes of continuing
to script
in a blank

a space where few
pass and where
my ideas
come to pass

done and done
once written and read over
once
nothing new anymore,
it's been done.

the thoughts have been had
by me
had by them
and by you
us

yet us don't speak
thoughts, we act
unknowingly
not knowing real
want
not knowing
happy, it's what
us wants.

I sit still
with nothing done
and not spoken
expecting the easy

so you take your stuff
and sell
your thoughts and eyes
the same thoughts
been done and sold
the same eyes across many

and me? i still sit
still half
done and half
seen since
once had by me
completely
then had by us

instead i half do
and hope to share
my only half
with a one not
many
so that one may have
my eyes
my thoughts

and the one eyes
see
and the one thoughts
not yet tired
can consider that their
scenes and
mind is gifted to them
not to all
half appreciated
half remembered
my half

Jeep Thing...

when she pulled up
in her jeep
i wanted to wave
and make
her company.
but alas i was
far removed from my
own, so i waited
until she got her drink
and started
walking back
at which point i jumped
into my
chariot and took
the alternate
exit
out of the lot
only
so that i may drive by
and show off my
doorless, topless,
manhood on wheels
and wave
a peace sign
of comradery.

she waved back,
at which
point i felt accomplished.

maybe next time
she'll park next to me
and maybe
she'll stick around
and drink her drink
at the table
next to mine, waiting for me to say
"hey, that's a nice jeep you've got there"

probably not
but it's fun to pretend.

Laughter

i ordered a coffee today
and following
my order came laughter.
i couldn't make out what was said
so i assumed
and made excuses
in my head
just
in case.

it's hot out,
i want to cool off
still laughing
maybe
at something else
but
maybe
at me

so in retort i move outside
and can't help
but to notice
myself
noticing women
cars
motorcycles
manly things

then i take another sip
and laugh
at the billions of things
that are
there to laugh at.
at me
caring
wasting time.

i finish my drink
and get bored
of wanting
something to happen
so i decide to
act
and get in my car
feeling
manly
picking music
and shoot like a bet out of hell
adrenalin driven
until i realize i have nowhere to go.

i feel silly again

Hunger Pains

today everyone is hungry
for truth
and all it takes is
some
overconfident fool to feed them.

politics is the dish
that keeps on feeding
where
the people
choose
off the menu and decide
which truth
tastes the best today.