Greed opened my eyes against opportunity. Terms
of travel, now defined by me, leaving few turns to
hap. Surrendering to circumstance bares poisoned rewards,
polluting my account of absolute will. Circumventing chance,
unless directed by honest thirst, awaiting intrinsic
requital, harvested, rather than served on fine
china plates. Such merit, gratifying past first bite,
lingering on the palette, a satisfying taste.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Revision Complete
With the semester winding down, it was time to finish my short story revision... finally. The ending didn't change much from the first draft. I decided I enjoyed that ending. To me, it summarizes some feeling that I was trying to portray. I'll leave it up for the reader to figure out exactly what it means.
That said, I will admit that the ending was a bit rushed. I'm still all over the place trying to wrap up final projects. I'm proud with most of the other revisions I have made, so I'm not kicking myself too much. That said, this story is being locked away. I'd still like to hear your thoughts and suggestions, but I doubt I'll be revising any further, unless I intend to send it out elsewhere.
For those too lazy to click the link on the side, you can read the full story here.
Dilapidated Disposition
Oh, and I stuck with the name. Some suggested that it was just a nice sounding title with no meat to it, but perhaps after reading the story you'll be able to make the connection between the title and the main character.
That said, I will admit that the ending was a bit rushed. I'm still all over the place trying to wrap up final projects. I'm proud with most of the other revisions I have made, so I'm not kicking myself too much. That said, this story is being locked away. I'd still like to hear your thoughts and suggestions, but I doubt I'll be revising any further, unless I intend to send it out elsewhere.
For those too lazy to click the link on the side, you can read the full story here.
Dilapidated Disposition
Oh, and I stuck with the name. Some suggested that it was just a nice sounding title with no meat to it, but perhaps after reading the story you'll be able to make the connection between the title and the main character.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Sigh of Relief
Morning comes as a heavy cloud
ready to drench my tired bones.
Dusty dreams stacked neatly at
my bedside, pending a sunny day.
Breathe, and soon the dust
disperses to the dawn breeze.
Chilled current brushes skin
anxious for caress.
Breathe, to watch the heavens
open, flooding eyes with life
and giving birth to new found
strength. Saved at last.
Breathe, basking in the company
of weary comrades, too looking
for new sights, eager to embrace
the waking day.
Alas, the second cloud fills
the void, leaving dust to settle
into place, returning dreams to
their proper. Stacked neatly
at my bedside.
ready to drench my tired bones.
Dusty dreams stacked neatly at
my bedside, pending a sunny day.
Breathe, and soon the dust
disperses to the dawn breeze.
Chilled current brushes skin
anxious for caress.
Breathe, to watch the heavens
open, flooding eyes with life
and giving birth to new found
strength. Saved at last.
Breathe, basking in the company
of weary comrades, too looking
for new sights, eager to embrace
the waking day.
Alas, the second cloud fills
the void, leaving dust to settle
into place, returning dreams to
their proper. Stacked neatly
at my bedside.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)