Laughter

i ordered a coffee today
and following
my order came laughter.
i couldn't make out what was said
so i assumed
and made excuses
in my head
just
in case.

it's hot out,
i want to cool off
still laughing
maybe
at something else
but
maybe
at me

so in retort i move outside
and can't help
but to notice
myself
noticing women
cars
motorcycles
manly things

then i take another sip
and laugh
at the billions of things
that are
there to laugh at.
at me
caring
wasting time.

i finish my drink
and get bored
of wanting
something to happen
so i decide to
act
and get in my car
feeling
manly
picking music
and shoot like a bet out of hell
adrenalin driven
until i realize i have nowhere to go.

i feel silly again